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Time to Press Play

The new year has begun… but I have not.  I feel like someone has hit my “pause” button and I’m just waiting for them to hit “play” so I can get going.  I had high intentions of getting back into the gym four days a week, of reading my bible daily, and staying busy until bedtime every night to get my house in order and chores caught up, but I am failing miserably.  I have not stepped a foot in the gym since before Christmas, have only touched my bible on church days, and am lucky to get dinner on the table nightly and enough laundry done to keep us in clean clothes.  I am in need of revival.

This past Sunday was the first day of Revival at our church.  It’s the first time we have attended Revival there, and the first time Jerry or the four youngest children have EVER attended a church revival.  I would really love to say that I have been revived physically, but I can say I have been revived spiritually!  This four-day spiritual uplifting is just what the doctor ordered.  

Just weeks ago, I was ready to throw in the towel – of wifedom, motherhood, churchgoer, and life in general.  I had let the devil get a hold of me and discourage me.  But I’ve been fighting back since before Revival started.  Last night the Evangelist’s message was about staying on your wall like Nehemiah did.  And after thoughtful prayer at church and even later at home, I realized I’ve been struggling to stay on my wall for most of my life.  I realized that when I have let myself be coaxed down even a little is when I end up in the pits.  And I realized that I don’t want to come down off my wall until God tells me to!

All of us have our mission from God, and honestly, I’m still trying to find out what mine is.  I believe that right now one of my biggest charges is, in addition to mothering my own children, to be a (step)mother to my husband’s four children, because I’m the only real one they have.  And I believe that this journey with them (and their biological mothers’ drama) is to prepare me for an even greater mission.  I believe God is pushing me out of my comfort zone so that He can bless me in areas that I desperately desire.  And I believe that God wants me to healthy physically and emotionally so that I can do His work.

I’m praying that my spiritual revival will blow the embers of my physical revival and start a fire in me.  I know that if I am to do God’s work – whatever that may be – that I need to be in shape for it.  So whatever it takes, I WILL get back into the gym four days a week, I WILL read my bible daily, and I WILL stay busy with whatever it is God wants me to do until bedtime – whether it is working, worshiping, cooking, cleaning, playing with my kids, cuddling with my husband, visiting with friends or family or resting when my body needs it – and I will do it with a happy heart!  

It may be in slow-motion, but I'm playing.
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