Skip to main content

The Inner Choice.


Emotions.  Moods.  Feelings.  They go by many names, but they are all the same thing: a reaction to a situation.  They are a reaction that, many times, we have absolutely no control over.  Sometimes we just “feel” a certain way for no reason at all.  Nothing happens, nothing doesn’t happen.  There is no rhyme or reason for feeling a certain way, yet sometimes we just do.  It makes me crazy!  (Is that another emotion?) 

Not long ago our pastor’s bible study topic was whether our feelings affected our faith.  He suggested that he believes that we have total control over how we “feel” about something.  I’m not so sure I concur with that opinion.  I do believe that we choose how we physically react to a situation (like choosing not to snap and bite someone’s head off or take a swing at someone’s jaw), but can we really decide how we feel internally?  Actually, sometimes our bodies have physical reactions that we cannot control: Crying, for example.  There are times when I have been doing absolutely nothing but sitting at my desk at work typing a monotonous letter and tears have begun streaming down my face.  I’m not talking about the boo-hoo-ing, sobbing of an emotional cry, but tears nonetheless.  Nothing in particular happened to make me cry, my feelings weren’t hurt, but yet I was physically crying.  Is that a reaction that I could control?  I know it is possible to cry on demand – my girls are masters at it – but for me, when the tears start because I have been hurt or am sad, I have no control over it.

Sometimes we just wake up “on the wrong side of the bed.”  Nothing has happened for us to react; yet our mood is dark, sad, sarcastic, angry.  What gives?  Is it really possible that we choose to be in a bad mood for no reason at all?  I believe people can choose to be just plain mean, but why would anyone just choose to be angry?  It hurts to be angry and I don’t like it one bit, yet I feel myself being angry much more than I want. 

Is it really under our control to choose whether we want to be angry or sad or depressed…or not?  Or is there more to it?  Are there truly “mood disorders” like depression and anxiety if we all have a choice in how we feel about something?  If not, how is the medical community making billions upon billions shelling out magic happy pills every time we shed a tear?  Is it all just a huge conspiracy to break down humanity?

I want to believe that we can just choose how we want to feel.  I have spent much time in the “fake it till you make it” phase, hoping that whatever negative emotion I am experiencing can be vanquished by the positive ones I show the world.  Eventually, positivism seems to win – or does it?  Has that really been an effect of my choosing or did the negativity just wear off?  I don’t know. 

What I do know is this:  None of us want negative feelings, yet we have them.  All of us want to be happy, yet the prospect is forever fleeting in so many.  If every emotion was a matter of choosing, would we really have negative ones?
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Persistence and Determination

I have survived three and a half weeks of Bethany's Bikini Boot Camp!  Albeit I feel like I may die during every single class.  I have been attending 3 days a week - Monday, Wednesday and Friday, religiously- and only missed 2 classes, one because I had a sinus infection, pharyngitis, tracheitis, and bronchitis - all at the same time, and the other was rained out.  I have even attended a couple of the extra cardio classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I have been so sore since I started this adventure, every minute of every day.  But I persist.  I am determined.   Running, I have found, is the bane of my existence.  Well, cardio in general.  I am still the very last, slowest bootcamper, at every class I attend.  I still cannot run consistently for a full lap (1/3 mile).  The stairs still hate me.  "Jumping Jacks" still feel like daggers are being stabbed into my ankles.  And I cannot even bear to talk about "Mountain Clim...
Post a Comment
Read more

Time to Press Play

The new year has begun… but I have not.  I feel like someone has hit my “pause” button and I’m just waiting for them to hit “play” so I can get going.  I had high intentions of getting back into the gym four days a week, of reading my bible daily, and staying busy until bedtime every night to get my house in order and chores caught up, but I am failing miserably.  I have not stepped a foot in the gym since before Christmas, have only touched my bible on church days, and am lucky to get dinner on the table nightly and enough laundry done to keep us in clean clothes.  I am in need of revival. This past Sunday was the first day of Revival at our church.  It’s the first time we have attended Revival there, and the first time Jerry or the four youngest children have EVER attended a church revival.  I would really love to say that I have been revived physically, but I can say I have been revived spiritually!  This four-day spiritual uplifting is just what t...
Post a Comment
Read more

First Day of School

Today is the first day of the school year 2011-2012.  We still have four of the six children in school.  This year we have at least one child in every school: Joey in elementary, Jess in middle, and Sis and Chas in High School.  For three of them it is a "momentous" year: last year in elementary for Joey, last year in middle for Jess and first year of high school for Sis.  Chas believes this is a special year for her, too; since she's a Junior she thinks she's an upperclassman.  But I remember that for Seniors, no one is an upperclassman but them. I remember being in school and the excitement of the first day back every year.  There is something about new school supplies that still gives me a warm fuzzy feeling to this day.  Everything is crisp and shiny and has that "fresh from the store" smell.  There are no pen marks on the binders, no crumpled wide-ruled notebook paper.  All the pencils are the same length, the end erasers still pristin...
Post a Comment
Read more