Kaylamity

I had a visit from God this morning.   Not the kind of “visit” where He diverts my attention to a beautiful flower out of place, or when I have a great hair day, or I make it through the light right before it turns red.  I had a REAL, tangible visit from God.  At the post office, of all places.  To be specific, the post office parking lot.  I have been under attack and in a pit lately.  A very dark, depressing, stinky, slimy pit.  Without going into the dirty details, just know it’s not a very spiritual place at all.  I’ve gotten closed off and, frankly, part of me seems to be getting comfortable there in a weird sort of way.  There is another part of me that desperately wants out, but just can’t reach high enough to get a grip to start pulling myself up.  I’ve fought with this often over my lifetime.  A lot.  And sometimes I even fight with God about it.  This time, I’ve just waited.  Waited and prayed that He w...

How does life get so busy?  So busy that you feel like you never have time to do anything?  Nothing seems to get done, but you always have something going on?   Maybe it's because we have so many people in our house.  Maybe it's because I need to work on my time management skills.  Maybe it's because my body just doesn't have the energy it once did.  I don't know.  But what I do know is that my house is a wreck;  I can never find the clothes I want to wear because they are dirty;  I have a to-do list a mile and a half long;  and my calendar is completely full of "stuff".   That "stuff" is stuff I really want to do.  It is stuff that makes me feel good and complete and like I am making a difference in the world and myself.  Volunteer opportunities are something I never really participated in until the last few years.  I always heard that little negative voice in the back of my head that told me I wasn't good enough...

Emotions.   Moods.   Feelings.   They go by many names, but they are all the same thing: a reaction to a situation.   They are a reaction that, many times, we have absolutely no control over.   Sometimes we just “feel” a certain way for no reason at all.   Nothing happens, nothing doesn’t happen.   There is no rhyme or reason for feeling a certain way, yet sometimes we just do.   It makes me crazy!   (Is that another emotion?)   Not long ago our pastor’s bible study topic was whether our feelings affected our faith.   He suggested that he believes that we have total control over how we “feel” about something.   I’m not so sure I concur with that opinion.   I do believe that we choose how we physically react to a situation (like choosing not to snap and bite someone’s head off or take a swing at someone’s jaw), but can we really decide how we feel internally?   Actually, sometimes our bodies have physical reactions...

I have been inspired. By God. By my friends. By my family.  Most of my life I have leaned toward the negative in my perspective of life in general.  Growing up in (and out) of a totally dysfunctional family sort of does that to you.  At some point, I decided to put on rose-colored glasses and look for the more positive aspects out there.  I try to believe that most people are good, that the weatherman is right more than wrong, and that I can handle anything that comes my way.  Unfortunately, I have been proven wrong in most cases, except for the latter of these.  Most recently, I have been told by anyone and everyone who knows my family, that I deserve a gold star.  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not tooting my own horn here, this is just the fact of what I've been told.  I don't know how deserving I am of anything, I just know that I do what I do and that's all that I do.  Sometimes you just don't have a choice.  You do right just bec...